What We're Reading:
It's great to not reinvent the wheel if someone has been there, done that, and written a useful book. Here at ChiIL Mama, we jumped at the chance to read an advance copy of Julie Lythcott-Haims' new release, How To Raise An Adult. It's a tough and timely topic and as a mom of a tween daughter and a teen son, it's a subject on my mind a lot.
Disclosure: ChiIL Mama is elated to partner up with Henry Holt and Company Publishing and Clever Girls for this feature. We have been compensated with complimentary review samples and a book for our giveaway. As always, all opinions are our own.
I'm raising two adults who are confident in speaking up, can cook, and take charge of their own homework and schedules. I've often told my kids that my job is not to teach them what to think but how to think and that my job as mom is not to wait on them hand and foot or make their lives fun and easy all the time, but to teach them self sufficiency.
When it comes to great tips from How To Raise An Adult, we adore the concept of raising capable kids by "putting independence in their way." My son, now entering high school in the fall, has taken the city bus to and from school for 7th & 8th grade. Both kids have a lot of choice in their activities, and we never do their homework for them but make it clear we're available if they need help figuring out how to do something.
CLICK HERE to win your own hardback copy of How To Raise An Adult ($27 value) from ChiIL Mama. Enter through midnight 6/20/15. Open nationwide.
Lythcott-Haims writes with humor and insight. She's an experienced lawyer/Stanford Dean/mom, who has been called a triple threat "ologist", psychologist, sociologist and anthropologist based on the themes of her writing. Her invaluable experience as long time Freshman Dean at Stanford makes Lythcott-Haims uniquely qualified to expound on our collective cultural foibles and failings at parenting this generation of American kids.
I had so many favorite parts of the book, you'll just have to read it, because I can't possibly hit them all. The quote "It's our job as parents to put ourselves out of a job." really spoke to me and sums up my parenting philosophy. My kids have both attended a public Chicago Montessori school from preschool (ages 3 & 4) through 6th grade, so they have been trusted with a lot of independence and child led learning for the past decade, and it shows. Still, we live in a dense, urban area where violence and danger are a true threat. So parenting older kids is a real balancing act between fostering freedom and autonomy and keeping kids out of life threatening situations.
I'm raising two adults who are confident in speaking up, can cook, and take charge of their own homework and schedules. I've often told my kids that my job is not to teach them what to think but how to think and that my job as mom is not to wait on them hand and foot or make their lives fun and easy all the time, but to teach them self sufficiency.
How to Raise an Adult is a welcome reality check and wake up call to helicopter parents whose best intentions may backfire. Humans learn more from our mistakes than our successes. I had a friend in my early 20's whose parents had literally written ALL of her papers through high school and did much of her homework too. College came as a rude shock, and she was left floundering, resentful and utterly unprepared.
When it comes to great tips from How To Raise An Adult, we adore the concept of raising capable kids by "putting independence in their way." My son, now entering high school in the fall, has taken the city bus to and from school for 7th & 8th grade. Both kids have a lot of choice in their activities, and we never do their homework for them but make it clear we're available if they need help figuring out how to do something.
We highly recommend reading How To Raise An Adult. Sometimes less is truly more, and we found this book to be a voice of sanity in a sea of other parenting manuals that demand more and more from overextended parents.
Disclosure: ChiIL Mama is elated to partner up with Henry Holt and Company Publishing and Clever Girls for this feature. We have been compensated with a complimentary review sample and a book for our giveaway. As always, all opinions are our own.
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